FREE AT LAST!

Merton 1's joint first choice left back Alex Gooding was finallyhanded a reprieve by Surrey FA after completing his two match suspension for violent conduct. Claims are rife of underhand goings on at Surrey FA headquarters as the self-styled Hackney One's ban was lifted at 00:42 on Saturday morning, too late to be drafted in for the 1's crucial County Cup away fixture at Lyne Youth. Merton have lodged a formal complaint to the Surrey Police.

A spokesman said "A shadowy figure was witnessed entering the building during the week with a brown envelope before speeding off in a cab to Heathrow airport. He was last seen with a female accomplice at the departure gate for Tallinn. We're passing all our information on to Interpol." Police have since released this e-fit of the suspect....

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