The Legend of Jean-Marc


This week the Soche headed over to Wimbledon Chase for Thornton Heath away. It was straight into the thick of it before the game even began, having to climb over a hole in the fence to get to the pitch. Oscar would later jump through this hole, no suprises there. The pitch was bobbly but was in fairly good condition as the game kicked off, unlike the gaffer who had been getting Zonked the night before. The Soche came out of the tracks fast, and began to dominate possession from the go. We had one of our strongest team’s of the season and it showed. There were individual battles being wone all over the pitch. On the left, Jack was up against well known slapper, JEAN MARC. JB ran him ragged for 45 minutes straight, with the little mug eventually resorting to kicking out at Jack, to no avail. The other battle of note was between Oly and the ratman in midfield. Oly continued to dominate the battle throughout the 90, doing well to keep his cool while being told his nose would be bitten off.

The Soche continued to probe, and before long got their just rewards. Good battling in the middle won the ball deep in the oppositions half. The ball was sprayed out to Danieldinho, who crossed first time. The ball was half cleared but only to Jack, who rode a few challenges before slipping a ball through to tk who dispatched his goal clinically through the legs of the goalkeeper into the far corner. The game restarted, and almost instantly Thorton Heath had the chance to equalise. A long ball from deep inside their own half sailed over our back four, and released their winger. Fortunately Tom P to the rescue as usual, saving the ball well. We kicked on, and finished the half well, drawing a few saves from their keeper.

The second half begun, and with it brought a few play changes. We started well, with TK’s curling effort from a freekick pushed away by the keeper. With the changes, our rhythm became slightly off balance, although our back four were excellent throughout, and if ever an attack got through, Tom P was there to make some key saves to keep us infront. As the game continued, we began to dominate once more and create chances. We maybe should have killed the game off, most notably when good work down the wing put TK through down the edge of the box, squaring for Tom L who (still a little hiiiigh from the night before) took a touch and shot, but was saved well.

As the homeside became more and more frustrated, the game began to take a turn for the worse. The most frustrated player of all was the young RB, Jean Marc. Poor old Jean Marc. Haunted by his frustrations from his last game against the Soche, he had brought his lovely gf (Anna Conda) down to watch. “This is your game Jean Marc” he told himself that morning. “You’re a legend Jean Marc, a legend”. Sadly for Jean Marc, a nutmeg by Jack early on in the game proved to be the beginning of the end. As the game passed him by, the poor boy became more and more disheartened. With tears in his eyes, the Soche sensed blood. A bad touch, “WHEYYYY”. A cruel nutmeg, “NUTS”. Tears now streaming, Jean Marc’s girlfriend attempted to defend him, “Stop winding him up”. It only made it worst love. Attempting to save his pride, Jean Marc bravely squared up to TK. You had to listen carefully, such was his cracking voice, Jean Marc mustered up the courage for a few words “I’ll kill you blud”. Sadly, the Soche only laughed it off. His anger grew. Upset and tired, Jean Marc had had enough. Taking of his shirt and walking off the pitch, he just wanted to be held by his gf on the sidelines. His own teammates rounded on him. “DON’T YOU WALK OFF THIS PITCH JEAN MARC”. Turning to his gf, he seeked help, but she was unremorseful, not only had he now embarrassed her pitch side, the JB spesh #2 he commited the night before still made her angry. Back onto the pitch he came, poor old Jean Marc.

The game finished with Thorton Heath pushing hard for an equaliser, although the Soche played as a unit, snuffing out any real danger. The came was slowing to a stop, no more aggression, the Soche were riding it out.

Enter, Jack Bingham.

Jack challenged well with their beast of a winger, and drew the foul. With the clock ticking down, Jack did the ‘clever’ thing, and stick out a leg to trip up the beast. The clouds darkened, the birds fell silent. The winger turned round in fury. Jack’s cheeky grin slowly fell as his life flashed before his eyes (Spesh #1, Spesh #2, Spesh #3 etc). The beast threw his gloves to the ground and charged. With his pride at stake, Jack stood his ground. LOL jk, Jacqueline ran for the hills!! A minute later the referee blew full time!! A roar went out from the Soche!! But alas, it was just all too much for Jean Marc. With TK celebrating in the face of him, he squared up once more. TK turned his back on poor Jean Marc, the disprect of it!! Jean Marc then banged TK from behind (insert Scott joke). Daniel grabbed Jean Marc, and the two faced off. Things then spiralled out of control fast as Thorton attempted to draw the Soche down to their level. Dave was pushed over by the ratman, who then had his sights on Carl. Punching Carl in the face. We stood tall though and laughed it off as the brawl ended.

3 points and a BIG win for the Soche!! Oh Jean Marc, we love you really.

#MatchReport1516

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