There’s been some great excuses in the world of football over the years. Who will ever forget Manchester United’s “Invisible” grey away kit, David James’ PlayStation addiction or Fulham’s inability to win thanks to the removal of the Jacko statue. However, one Merton Social player’s excuse for missing a game is probably up there with the worst excuses in football of all time.
Many might think that Ollie Hope deciding to miss a game to pick up a brand new car was a bad excuse but that had nothing on former Sheffield Uni captain Broughy, who missed a game to go to a matinee performance of Les Miserables! However, both of these hardly registered a vote on our online poll – not because they’re acceptable, but because this next excuse absolutely takes the croissant!
See, many would think that Merton Striker and Glenn McCrory look-a-like Paul McLean would be a bit of tough man off the pitch, afterall, his nickname is “Bruiser”. But he proved himself to be an absolute soft touch when he turned down the chance to star for Merton to go to his Girlfriend’s mates birthday bottomless brunch. What made matters worse was that the brunch was only 3 miles from the Match day venue.
Of the 24 votes we received, Ollie got 1, Broughy got 3 and Bruiser got a whopping 20! That’s 84% of the votes.
A few Merton players were available for comment:
“He’s let me down, he’s let the team down. But most of all, he’s let himself down” Chris Anstey, Manager
“I can’t believe he missed a game for that. #embarrasing” Jox, Striker
“What, you mean there was a list, and I wasn’t on it? Just glad to not be the butt of the jokes for once” Eddie Suich, 12, North London.
“Whey man noot rong wi that like, I eat arl the brunch I can get me man specially when its bottomless and that like aye!”
Kyle Hart, best left back at the club.
“What did Kyle say….? Well whatever Kyle said I say that but a bit better, you know, cause I’m the best left back in the club”
Alex Gooding, second best left back at the club.
Will there ever be a worse excuse, only time will tell. But one things for sure, the first team are thankful that Mrs. Bruiser doesn't have many friends!