Walking Wounded


After a week spent suggesting every possible person who they had ever seen kick a ball to help with numbers, The Soche arrived at perhaps their greatest bogey ground of all (home) with a bare boner squad including a debut for Fellaini-esque rockstar Ben RH. They would need the game to go totally to plan with no injuries if they were going to get a much needed result in this crucial game.

Lovejoy got injured and had to come off after leading the line for a full 5 minutes. Almost exactly as long as it took for the opposition to score a breakaway goal in a first half that Merton looked to be in control of despite their makeshift side. Cape moved to centre back alongside Viberg, with Instagram star P.Birch and the debutant Ben RH forming a new partnership for the Soche in centre mid. Both battling hard throughout the game and reminding us that there was more to them than groupies and holding a lighter in the air on a beach and videoing it.

Chances were coming for Merton, with the ever willing, diminutive striker Tom Leach working hard to breach the defence and finally it was the pocket centre forward who latched onto a defensive mishap and expertly slotted the ball neatly underneath the keeper to make it 1-1.

Now the Soche were really back in it. Piling forward with wave after wave of attack culminating in TK's flick round the corner onto the defenders hand and a deserved penalty being awarded by a referee that also happened to work for the gaffer???? With his recent record from the spot there was only one man to take it. TK stepped up and hit the corner perfectly, nestling into the keepers gloves and breaking the hearts of the plucky Soche. How a grown man not score a pen is beyond me, but at least he could not roast us at half time.

Freddy concluded the half with a challenge on the goalkeeper, falling to the ground and tapping his ass on the ground. Becoming the soches second walking wounded and effectively down to 10.

Not long into the second half Chino went for a 50/50 on the halfway line that left him face down on the ground, his persistent writhing and groaning left everyone wondering ‘what was his name???’ and the cream sex maniac was withdrawn to be replaced by the crippled Loveday. The Soche were effectively 9, but continued to battle on... The plucky display that followed made me be proud to be associated with these men but fittingly it was a player from the opposition who had recently ‘done his Achilles’ who broke our hearts in the final 5. 2-1 and another defeat for the soche.

The desperate lack of luck for the Soche reminded everyone of the Babylon system that we are forced to live in everyday, where the down trodden, bants people are further battered down into the mud by the more privileged dick heads, who continue to pick up underserved points and climb the table.

UTS

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