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Twas a rainy Saturday, the clouds above saturated and heavy. A strong wind blew across the capital. The fog of expectation was thick amongst the terraces. Derby day.

Due to TV rights, the game had been pulled back for a controversial early 1PM kick off. The Soche were ready.

The game kicked off and within the minutes the Soche has taken full dominance over Clapham. The intricate play was oh so easy on the eye as the ball was played with speed and confidence. “Teeke Taka”.

It wasn’t long before the first one on one came, falling to TK. The gap was tight however and hit straight at the keeper. Shortly afterwards a chance fell to old man Leach (happy bday) who was thwarted by the keeper once again.

Chance after chance fell to Merton, but none were capitalized on. Clapham then one a rare corner. The ball was curled in near post and flew straight in. Phil tried in vein the get there, but it appeared the ball wasn’t ticklish.

The merton boys head dropped slightly and they failed to regain their composure for the rest of the 1st half. The only moment of note being the reverends bullet header nestling in the corner from Oly’s freekick, only to be flagged late for offside. Real shame.

The second half began and the soche were straight out from the blocks but lacked a certain finesse. The ball pin ponging around. A few more chances fell to the boys in black and blue but none could be converted. It was beginning to feel like another frustrating day for the soche.


With Clapham wasting as much time as possible, the soche kept their cool and started applying the pressure more and more. Corner. The ball was curled in beautifully and a mellee insued. Ping, pong, PANG. The rev poaching on the ball to take things level. “The lord giveth, and the lord taketh away”.


Clapham threw men forward in a desperate attempt at salvation, but it was to be their doom. The ball was cleared up the field. Falling to Leach. A collective hush rang around the pitch as the crowd bit their nails, would he try yet another ill advised back heel, or would he play a glorious, career defining cross into the box.

The cross came in. Blind.

Enter teeks, the gaffer, the hunchback of Notre Dame. Guiding a header past the keeper and into the far corner of the net.


The Soche held out for the last few minutes. The final whistle blew, a momentous win. An occasion to savour. Or as Phil might say, it was the bombbbbbbb.


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